Practical Parenting

Dr. M’s SPA Newsletter Volume 16 Issue 22 – Technology and Kids

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The Hardest Part of Medicine Isn’t Making the Diagnosis

Last week I wrote that one of the most healing words in the English language may be “no.” I believed it when I wrote it.

After today, I believe it even more.

Today was one of the hardest days I’ve experienced in medicine in a long time.

I drove home with a heaviness that is difficult to describe. Not because a child died. Not because I faced an impossible diagnosis. Not because science failed me. Not because of the many reasons medicine offers for struggle.

I drove home grieving.

Grieving for children who have no idea what is quietly happening inside their own bodies.

Grieving for my own pain at being unable to convince certain parents to see this problem.

Grieving because I can already see a future they cannot.

Today marked the one-year follow-up for many of the children enrolled in our asthma pilot program. We built this program around hope. We invested time that most medical practices simply don’t have. We spent hours educating families. We provided healthy food. We offered gift cards to encourage participation. We discussed sleep, movement, nutrition, inflammation, insulin resistance, and the remarkable ability of the human body to heal when given the right environment….. and a literature review.

Enjoy,

Dr. M

Dr. M’s SPA Newsletter Volume 16 Issue 19 – Pain

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Pain

Do we listen to its signal?

Pain: Your Body’s Built-In Warning System

Pain is one of the body’s oldest and most important protective mechanisms. It isn’t your enemy. It is a messenger.

Imagine walking barefoot across your living room and accidentally kicking the corner of the coffee table. The sharp pain that shoots through your toe isn’t there to punish you, it is there to protect you. Within fractions of a second, nerves carry a signal to your brain, telling you that cells and tissue have been injured. Your body immediately encourages you to stop what you’re doing. Protect the area and allow it to heal.

This is acute pain, and it serves an essential purpose for both protection and survival.

The problem arises when we stop thinking of pain as information and begin viewing it as something that simply needs to be eliminated. Over the past several decades, this mindset has increasingly influenced modern medicine. Around the turn of the century, pain was widely promoted as the “fifth vital sign,” emphasizing the importance of recognizing and treating it. While this movement helped address the undertreatment of pain, it also contributed, in some settings, to an emphasis on suppressing pain rather than understanding why it existed in the first place.

From an evolutionary perspective, pain is not a design flaw, it is a sophisticated communication system. It evolved to capture our attention, protect us from further injury, and encourage behaviors that promote healing. When we focus solely on silencing the signal without investigating its source, we risk missing the very message our bodies are trying to deliver, and deliver it will.

Pain is information

Every pain signal is your body’s way of saying, “Something isn’t quite right.”

Sometimes the cause is obvious like a sprained ankle, a cut, a burn, or a broken bone.

Other times the message is much more subtle.

….

Dr. M

Dr. M’s Women and Children First Podcast #112: Mona Delahooke, PhD – Beyond Behaviors


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Today on Dr. M’s Women and Children First, we welcome one of the most important voices in modern child development and behavioral science, Mona Delahooke.

Dr. Delahooke is a licensed clinical psychologist, internationally recognized speaker, and the author of groundbreaking books including Beyond Behaviors and Brain-Body Parenting. Her work challenges one of the deepest assumptions in modern parenting and education: that difficult behaviors are simply choices to be corrected. Instead, she invites us to ask a radically different question, what is the nervous system trying to communicate?

This conversation sits right at the crossroads of neuroscience, attachment theory, polyvagal theory, developmental psychology, and the lived experience of parenting. In many ways, Mona’s work gives language to something clinicians and parents often feel intuitively but struggle to articulate: behavior is not merely compliance or defiance, behavior is biology expressed through the body.

We explore how stress physiology, early attachment, sensory processing, trauma, neurodivergence, and autonomic nervous system states shape the way children interact with the world around them. We discuss why punishment-based models often fail vulnerable children, how “bad behavior” may actually represent adaptive survival responses, and why safety and connection are foundational to learning, resilience, and emotional regulation.

For me personally, this conversation resonates deeply with the broader themes we often discuss on this podcast, the interaction between environment, physiology, immune health, metabolism, and neurodevelopment. Mona helps bridge the gap between cellular stress and relational stress, between body and mind, between physiology and behavior.

If you’ve ever cared for a child with anxiety, ADHD, autism, sensory challenges, explosive behavior, school struggles, or chronic dysregulation, this episode offers both compassion and a fundamentally different framework. One that moves away from blame and toward curiosity. Away from control and toward connection.

This is a conversation about seeing children more clearly. And perhaps, seeing ourselves more clearly too.

Please enjoy this conversation with Dr. Mona Delahooke.

Dr. M

Dr. M’s Women and Children First Podcast #111: Duey Freeman, MA – Attachment


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Welcome back to Dr. M’s Women and Children First. Today’s conversation moves into one of the deepest layers of human development: attachment, relationship, and the way early experiences shape the architecture of our emotional lives.

My guest today is Duey Freeman, a licensed therapist, teacher, mentor, and internationally respected voice in attachment theory, human development, and relational psychology. Duey has spent decades teaching therapists, graduate students, and helping professionals around the world, developing a practical framework for understanding how connection, or the absence of it, shapes the nervous system, identity, and the capacity for intimacy.

He has logged nearly 80,000 direct clinical hours and co-founded both the Gestalt Equine Institute and the Gestalt Institute of the Rockies.

What makes Duey’s work unique, and it is unique, is that he does not approach attachment as a sterile academic theory. He approaches it as lived human experience. His work centers on a simple but profound truth: what is injured in relationship is often only healed in relationship.

In this episode, we explore how attachment patterns emerge in childhood, how they quietly shape adult relationships, parenting, stress physiology, and even our sense of safety in the world. We discuss the roots of attachment theory through the work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, and we move into modern concepts involving trauma, nervous system regulation, emotional attunement, and relational repair.

We also touch on an uncomfortable reality in modern culture: many people are surrounded by communication yet starving for authentic connection. Children especially do not simply need instruction or behavioral management. They need co-regulation, attunement, eye contact, emotional presence, and secure relational anchors.

This conversation is not just for therapists. It is for parents, physicians, educators, coaches, and anyone trying to understand why humans behave the way they do under stress, conflict, intimacy, or loss.

Duey brings an unusual combination of wisdom, groundedness, tenderness, and clinical depth to this discussion. I have heard him frequently called Yoda, and if you knew him, you would immediately understand and agree with that moniker. You can feel that he has spent a lifetime studying not just psychology, but people.

So sit back and enjoy this remarkable conversation with Duey Freeman on attachment, psychology, and the relational foundations of being human.

Dr. M

Dr. M’s Women and Children First Podcast #108: Halie Hauser – Storytime

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On today’s episode of Dr. M’s Women and Children First Podcast, we welcome Halie Hauser, a pediatric clinician, storyteller, and quiet architect of early childhood connection.

Halie is the creator of Storytime Explorers, a storytelling platform designed for toddlers and preschoolers that sits at the intersection of language, emotion, and human development. With a Doctor of Nursing Practice focused on pediatric primary care, she brings both clinical depth and creative intuition to the way she reaches children—and just as importantly, their parents.
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Her work lives in the small moments: friendship struggles, big feelings, daily routines, the courage to try again. The ordinary terrain of childhood—where, if we’re paying attention, the most important wiring is happening.

Halie understands something we often forget in modern pediatrics: before a child can regulate, they must feel safe; before they can learn, they must feel connected; and before they can speak, they must be spoken to in a language that meets them where they are.

Through storytelling, she’s building that bridge.

This is a conversation about early brain development, emotional scaffolding, the power of narrative in shaping behavior—and how something as simple as a story can become a tool for resilience, attachment, and lifelong learning.

Dr. M

Dr. M’s SPA Newsletter Volume 16 Issue 4 – Relationships

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Literature Review:

A) “Establishment of the gut microbiome during early life is a complex process with lasting implications for an individual’s health. Several factors influence microbial assembly; however, breast-feeding is recognized as one of the most influential drivers of gut microbiome composition during infancy, with potential implications for function. Differences in gut microbial communities between breast-fed and formula-fed infants have been consistently observed and are hypothesized to partially mediate the relationships between breast-feeding and decreased risk for numerous communicable and noncommunicable diseases in early life. Despite decades of research on the gut microbiome of breast-fed infants, there are large scientific gaps in understanding how human milk has evolved to support microbial and immune development.” (Davis et. al. 2022)

Main Takeaways:

First 1000 days matter a lot for microbial and immune development: Infancy is a critical window when the gut microbiome is assembled and the immune system is learning to respond to microbes and external exposures. Patterns set early can ripple into infection risk, inflammatory diseases, and atopy later in life.

Enjoy,
Dr. M

Dr. M’s SPA Newsletter Volume 16 Issue 2 – School Food

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School Based Nutrition – Why is it happening this way?

There is a quiet experiment happening in American childhood, and we should stop pretending it’s benign.

In the 1970s and 1980s, when I attended school, school food was far from perfect, but it existed in the context of something essential: it was mostly prepared on site, minimally processed (but changing in that direction) and not laden with additives and chemicals (Yet). Oh, and most children still ate meals prepared at home at almost every other occasion. Dinner wasn’t aspirational or Instagram-worthy, but it was routine. Real food. Cooked by someone who knew the child, at a table where nervous systems could downshift. School lunch was a supplement to that structure, not the metabolic foundation of a child’s life. That has all changed in a short 50 years. Mirroring the change in weight and childhood disease prevalence.

• 1970s – some processed foods begin to enter school cafeterias at scale
• 1980s – preservatives and additives become routine
• 1990s – ultra-processed foods dominate

In 1994, new standards were added: This table lays out how much of each food group schools were supposed to offer over a week under the 1994 standards. These were the first nutrition-focused meal standards the USDA put into place:

For Breakfast (all grades K–12):
Fruit: 2.5 cups/week
Vegetables: 0 cups/week
Grains/Bread: 0–10 oz equivalent/week (depending on combinations of grains and protein)
Meat/Meat-alternative: 0–10 oz equivalent/week
Milk: 5 cups/week

For Lunch (split by grade levels):
Fruit: K–3 also 2.5 cups; grades 4–12 get 3.75 cups/week
Vegetables: still 0 cups/week (no separate vegetable requirement yet)
Grains/Bread: at least 8 oz eq/week
Meat/Meat-alternative: 7.5 oz eq/week for breakfast; 10 oz eq/week for lunch
Milk: 5 cups/week

(Hopkins 2015)

What’s notable, reflected in the structure of this table, is that vegetables weren’t required at all yet, and the standards were very much food-group based, not ingredient-level nutrient quality checks. That created space for schools to rely on industrially produced entrées and sides that technically met volumes of grains or proteins but could still be ultra-processed products with long ingredient lists, many of these foods would meet a NOVA class 4 classification (the worst type). Think fruit cup in sugary syrup…..

Dr. M

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