To Forgive

The act as defined as I see it – to release consciously another person from your negative feelings based on an event that was hurtful toward you from them whether it is perceived on your part or known by both parties.

What I find fascinating is that often the act of forgiveness may have to push past an unconscious threat injury in order to take root. This is to say that we can be harmed at a conscious and an unconscious level. The unconscious harm is understood at the vagal nerve level which is a primitive emotional safety response state that all mammals have that developed a long time ago. This is the essence of polyvagal theory which states that when humans feel safe, their nervous system supports the homeostatic functions of health, growth and restoration, while simultaneously become accessible to others without feeling or expressing threat and vulnerability. (Porges S. 2022) Thus, the opposite exists, when humans are threatened, their nervous system supports a break in homeostasis that can be short lived or long persistent based on the severity and chronicity of the harm. This break can lead to persistent mental and physical health challenges….. and a section on sleep followed by the recipe of the week.

Enjoy,

Dr. M